I blogged a bit about my new space, Almost there. It's the time of year when I feel the most blah, and I feel blah, even though I do seem to have enough steam build-up-ability to get through the days. The weather's pretty good, above zero and dry streets, blue skies, so that helps, a lot..
Today it occurred to me I'd need business cheques, so I stopped in and got a new business account started. It also occurred to me I was going to need a phone for that groovy new phone number I'm supposed to be getting tomorrow, so I stopped in and bought one at the local Sask-Tel store. I got new business cards and new stationary and three signs, one for each outside door and one for my own door, ordered.
On the whole, a busy day and a fair bit accomplished.
Yet I feel so blah. On the inside.
I suppose it doesn't matter two slices of bread around the outside of a sandwich how I feel, inside. The miracle is, I can function OK. I can get up early on a Monday, go to the "gym", work out, come home, go out and do errands, on foot, remember things that need to be done, do them, come home and sit and puzzle over why it all feels so.. blah to me. I just do not feel any thrill inside about any of this. I think part of me is still disgruntled at myself for having caved 4-5 years ago with SAD, and for dragging it back to a place it thought it had escaped and would never have to go back to except to visit.
Whatever. I'll get through this. I usually do. None of it really matters, what matters is that I create a new frame around what it is I do, treat pain in other people, and get on with it, and not ruminate on any small bits of it overmuch. Because, really, none of it, in and of itself, matters much at all. In the treatment moments, when someone will come in, and I treat them, and they get that "aha" look over their face, that will make all of this worth it.
I could have just continued treating other patients for other people and letting those faces show me their "aha" looks. But you know what? I really do not like working for and around other people much at all anymore. I don't have much to say to them, I'm kinda-sorta not very interested in whatever it is they think they have to say to me, and I'm not especially interested in any deep bonding with any of them. The only thing I live for anymore is that "aha" look on my patients' faces. And I can arrange my life to have less intrusive interruption, more quiet space for "aha"'s to appear. So, that's why. That's my motivation. No-frill, no-thrill (for me) motivation.
In other news, I've been going to the "gym" every day. I've lost 25 inches, about 15 pounds. So that's nice. It would be nice if "feeling great" would kick in one of these days.
Showing posts with label new practice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new practice. Show all posts
Monday, November 28, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Almost there
Today I popped in to my new 'location', a room I've rented in a neighbourhood spa. I'm a completely independent operator, just renting a room there, not affiliated with the spa in any way; just paying rent.
It's been a slow process - the phone isn't quite hooked up yet. Sask-Tel has to be the slowest phone company the world has ever seen. I have had the room rented from Nov 1st, but getting a phone hooked up seems to take a full 3 weeks. The line won't be in until the 29th, in the afternoon. But once it is, I'll be able to move in.
The office store here in town outfitted me with a desk, a desk chair, some waiting room chairs, a file cabinet (three drawer lateral). I have to keep patient files for 10 years in this province. Ten. Years. TEN!.. so I got a long file cabinet, which will hold many. But it's a good thing I have also outdoor storerooms off my balcony at home to use if needed.
Still to come: a treatment table. It won't arrive until in January sometime. It is an official osteopathic table, coming all the way from Belgium via Quebec, a company called "Gymna". I saw the bed in Whistler, in the trade fair at Congress in July, and fell in love. It has a head rest that bends completely down, completely out of the way, arm and shoulder pieces that can be moved away to allow full, comfortable, prone-lie arm-hang, nice high density foam cushiness, a heating option, some sort of thing you can stick in to rest your elbows on, and best of all, a foot rail that goes all the way round the bed, with which you can raise the bed up or down from any location. No more having to interrupt a treatment in order to find the stupid foot plate, which is always somewhere outside foot range and on the other side of the bed, which means you have to let go of your patient, interrupting the incredible insight into his or her physiology you've just wandered into, go back into regular brain mode, get up and go looking for it. Treatment interruptus. I'm really looking forward to this baby, I can tell you. Meanwhile, though, I'll be borrowing a regular no-frills massage table. Which, although not easily adjustable, will be just fine for a few weeks. It will be a terracotta colour.
Another thing I'm waiting on is a panel, a room divider, which will be moveable, covered in tasteful low-maintenance fabric, and will separate the 'office' part of the room from the 'treatment' part: such luxury.
Anyway, today I went in for the first time since the furniture was delivered last night. Ken, the office guy, had very kindly assembled the desk, and the chairs, for me! Such a kindness.
The room has been repainted; it used to be some sort of turquoise, which I can't stand on walls, but now is a warm tan colour, much more livable. The desk is a rich reddish cherry colour, with drawers that lock; the floor is a heavy durable brownish lino or vinyl tile with reddish and tan patches. Yes, this will all work, I think. We will work on getting a window installed, to get in a bit of natural light; until that happens I'll have to use a lamp. We'll see how that goes. If a window doesn't appear, and a few years slip by, I'll have to move to somewhere with a window. There is a glass block window into the hallway which lets a bit of natural light in from the outside door not far away, but it won't be nearly enough.
I have the keys now, so it all feels a lot more real now.
It's been a slow process - the phone isn't quite hooked up yet. Sask-Tel has to be the slowest phone company the world has ever seen. I have had the room rented from Nov 1st, but getting a phone hooked up seems to take a full 3 weeks. The line won't be in until the 29th, in the afternoon. But once it is, I'll be able to move in.
The office store here in town outfitted me with a desk, a desk chair, some waiting room chairs, a file cabinet (three drawer lateral). I have to keep patient files for 10 years in this province. Ten. Years. TEN!.. so I got a long file cabinet, which will hold many. But it's a good thing I have also outdoor storerooms off my balcony at home to use if needed.
Still to come: a treatment table. It won't arrive until in January sometime. It is an official osteopathic table, coming all the way from Belgium via Quebec, a company called "Gymna". I saw the bed in Whistler, in the trade fair at Congress in July, and fell in love. It has a head rest that bends completely down, completely out of the way, arm and shoulder pieces that can be moved away to allow full, comfortable, prone-lie arm-hang, nice high density foam cushiness, a heating option, some sort of thing you can stick in to rest your elbows on, and best of all, a foot rail that goes all the way round the bed, with which you can raise the bed up or down from any location. No more having to interrupt a treatment in order to find the stupid foot plate, which is always somewhere outside foot range and on the other side of the bed, which means you have to let go of your patient, interrupting the incredible insight into his or her physiology you've just wandered into, go back into regular brain mode, get up and go looking for it. Treatment interruptus. I'm really looking forward to this baby, I can tell you. Meanwhile, though, I'll be borrowing a regular no-frills massage table. Which, although not easily adjustable, will be just fine for a few weeks. It will be a terracotta colour.
Another thing I'm waiting on is a panel, a room divider, which will be moveable, covered in tasteful low-maintenance fabric, and will separate the 'office' part of the room from the 'treatment' part: such luxury.
Anyway, today I went in for the first time since the furniture was delivered last night. Ken, the office guy, had very kindly assembled the desk, and the chairs, for me! Such a kindness.
The room has been repainted; it used to be some sort of turquoise, which I can't stand on walls, but now is a warm tan colour, much more livable. The desk is a rich reddish cherry colour, with drawers that lock; the floor is a heavy durable brownish lino or vinyl tile with reddish and tan patches. Yes, this will all work, I think. We will work on getting a window installed, to get in a bit of natural light; until that happens I'll have to use a lamp. We'll see how that goes. If a window doesn't appear, and a few years slip by, I'll have to move to somewhere with a window. There is a glass block window into the hallway which lets a bit of natural light in from the outside door not far away, but it won't be nearly enough.
I have the keys now, so it all feels a lot more real now.
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