Friday, July 01, 2011

One of nature's little conversations

Squirrel: (Approaches, shakes tail vigorously and pointedly) "Get away from there get away from there....!"
 Crow: "What the... huh?...?"

Squirrel: (Inspects its spouse's/child's/friend's body) "(Ohno,ohno,ohno...) Hey, you! Back off or I'll point my tail right at you - like a gun!!"
Crow: "Back off? Hey buddy, you're inserting yourself between me and my lunch. That's not nice.. OK, not sure if that's a tail or a pellet gun... But I can tell you're upset...

Squirrel: (Stands up to make itself look more dangerous) "Damn right I'm upset! I'm warning you! Back the ef up!"

Crow: "Ya.. sure, whatever..." (Crow moves out sight range, and squirrel bends down to attend to dear friend, see if it can possibly do anything to help; offers recumbent and unconscious, possibly dead friend a Whiff of Behind, to see if that can revive him or her. It doesn't. Meanwhile, crow circles round to see if it can get closer..)

Squirrel: (Suddenly charges at crow) "I told you to back off!"

(Squirrel hastens back to side of its beloved. It knows there are other crows nearby just waiting for a chance to dine. Squirrel figures out how to apply Whiff of Behind first aid, plus keep an eye on the crow, at the same time. Crows stroll around patiently, looking for an opening.)

Squirrel: (Spits on its hands, charges at crows again) "You guys, back up more! Give me space! I've got a life here I'm trying to save!"

Crow #2: (Hops into frame) "Life? That's not life, that's food! And I'm peckish. And you, my furry friend, are standing directly between me and lunch!"

Squirrel: "Not true not true not true!!! Get away!"
(Crows look at each other.  Squirrel is suddenly overcome, flops prone beside friend; grief surges as it begins to suspect the crows could be right; the accompanying physiological, mammalian bone-chill feeling brings on weakness and sudden exhaustion. Squirrel stands up again) "Well, at least give me a moment to say a decent goodbye then, before you start pecking out eyeballs!!"

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