This week I had a chance to contemplate the stressors I've overcome in the last couple years. My mom tops the list probably. That seems to be working itself out.
Another biggie was the relationship I have with my online life, or rather, the relationship I have with the conduits to my online life - the practical stuff, the computer itself, getting it arranged, situated, hooked up, getting a printer that works, getting ink into it. Printing. Believe it or not, knowing what end of what cable to plug into what port. Believe it or not, knowing how to organize pages so I can print them on both sides to save paper and bulk. None of these things seem to bother other people. I figure everyone who just "knows" this stuff is smarter than I am.
I never used to worry about any of that because I had people I could ask. Living in Weyburn means, I've got no one I can ask. I am forced to be a grownup and figure all my computer stressors out myself. And slowly, slowly I'm learning how. Like, right this minute I feel like a big shot, because I figured out how to organize pages so they print on both sides AND stay in order.
Life doesn't have anything to do with how happy one can make oneself, as there will always be those way happier, practically giddy, even, from living. I don't trust people who are too happy. It's like they are permanently on drugs. I think, for me, life has more to do with how much less UN-happy one can make oneself, at least on the inside, at least for a little while.
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